Kenyans are notorious copycats and this extends to the way we receive, communicate and behave in grief, mourning and death.

Open any Kenyan obituary page in our newspapers and the death announcement/adverts are nearly identical….All start with…In humble acceptance of God’s will…..and ofcourse reference to 2nd Timothy 4:7 about the heavenly glory awaiting the dead person for fighting and keeping the faith after a life very well lived.
But is every Kenyan life really well lived or worth celebrating? Well lets see. Sample this…

A politician called Ndîndîko wa Kîmendero dies. He has spent his life inciting violence, spewing insults rigging elections, looting public money, exchanging bursaries and CDF funds for sex with desperate mothers and daughters as well as selling sub-standard goods. Well on his death the country nearly stops to celebrate a life well lived. Really?

What about a surveyor called Wamigûnda wa MagutaMaguta who’s spent his entire working life at the lands office falsifying title deeds, taking bribes to do the very job he earns money to do, but instead specialises in facilitating the fraudulent takeover of lands owned by widows, the poor and condemning families to needless court battles…On his death…a life well lived? Ha!

Well a Pastor/Preacher/Bishop called Mchungaji Wamîhothi wa Icunjî who’s build a life and reputation preaching the deceptively false gospel of riches, tithing for miracles, planting seeds and fleecing those desperately seeking help including widows…is on his death celebrated for an exceedingly well lived life in the service of the Almighty? No. Wooii no. How now?

A nurse/midwife called Nyakînua wa Mûhahîko who’s spent her life in the maternity ward humiliating pregnant mothers at their most vulnerable, making derogatory comments about their dirty, ugly knickers, petticoats and unshaved, stinky and loose genitalia…and yet is in death celebrated for having lived her life well, welcoming new life to planet earth on God’s behalf….Woooiii no. No!

What about Nyina wa Judy Wa Gûkîgia Mûthuri who’s served as the Chairlady/Elder/Deacon of the local Women’s Guild/Mothers Union/CWA. Yes seemingly holier than Prophet Elijah…but she’s neutralised her husband with insults and witchcraft. The husband has since become a home bound vegetative cabbage controlled, abused and humilated by the holy church woman and her ruinously spoilt children. Every pastor sent to the parish soon succumbs to her seductive charms- and thighs!!! Every woman in the church fears her wrath and capacity to stir conflict. Her feared handbag is said to be a colony of creeping reptiles. She’s the evil mother in law who’s dreaded by her daughters and sons in law for distablising their marriages. Her love of money is like an illness. She’s actually a witch like Lucifer hypocrite comoflouged under the calm blue dress and scarf….yet in death she’s celebrated for a well lived and prayeful life …and qualifying for the glory assigned to the saints who’ve kept the faith. Her coffin is draped in the Church’s blue cover to demonstrate holiness, service to the church and God’s readiness to receive her in heaven…. not true…No

How could I forget Elder Ngati Mûkua Tûhû Wa-Mûtheci. He’s served the church as Chairman of the Local Men Association. Seemingly holy like Prophet Samuel but deep down is a cruel, wife beating and greedily dishonest man who exploits and underpays all his employees. His appetite for the knickers of widows and househelps is the talk of town. Every househelp they employ leaves the home pregnant courtesy of his erotic powess and ravenousness. He has a mouth sweeter than that of Delilah and Jezebel combined and is chosen to lead all important occasions in church giving him a bird’s eye view of lonely and unaccompanied women for future erotic conquests. His family recently learnt he has two hidden families…one in Kajiado and the other in Olkalau. Wait for his death announcement. His name Mûtheci gives way to a new grand title – Elder Moses John the Baptist Holiness who’s died after a life selflessly well lived in the service of the Church, Community, Humanity and God the Almighty. Hahaha!

What you do with your life is upto you. Let me continue minding my own business!!!!!
WaIkui